
I am just another introverted but open-hearted boy from a small village, and this is my story. As a child, I loved being around my mother, a pure and kind-hearted soul who taught me many good things about life. Being the youngest in a joint family, I was pampered and in my own bubble until around the age of ten. Once I was too old to still be under my mother’s influence, I began to be taught many things by others in my family. My cousins taught me only to be friendly to those in the same caste and that treating lower castes differently was acceptable behaviour. I rebelled against it since this broke my heart, due to which I got exposed to bullying, shame, and humiliation from everyone. In addition to all of this, my father passed away at the age of 10, when I did not even fully understand what death was. My mother had to work to support my family, and I never got to know for myself the kind of person that my father was.
After my father’s death, I was sent to a relative’s house for a while to help clear my mind. In that town, I met a boy. I was attracted to him, and he felt the same for me. A few days later, I returned home, and everything was back to normal, but my feelings stayed. It was strange and uncomfortable, and all I wanted to do was hide. Solving my favourite math problems was easy, but solving this mysterious feeling was certainly not.
I would spend a lot of time with my sisters because I felt comfortable with them. However, because of my feminine behaviour my classmates would make fun of me by calling me a lady. I was embarrassed and would come home and cry often, where even my cousin brothers would force me to behave manly. Eventually, I began pushing down my true self, and I took the form that the world wanted me to take. Vikram and Sahil were two of my best friends who shared common interests with me, but I was too scared to tell them who I really was, afraid that I would lose them. I made up a girl crush, but my feelings only grew stronger for a boy in my class and I would go to his house under the excuse of studying.
In college in the city, I finally figured out my true identity and realised that it even had a name. I began to get much more open about myself and told all my friends. Even if they didn’t immediately accept me, they understood that being true to who I was made me happy. This helped me become more confident, and now I look forward to a bright and interesting future ahead of me.
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